Pronil Halder - Writer Author Filmmaker

স্মিতা ঠিক করে ফেলল। ওর আর মন বসেনা নীলের সাথে। প্রথম প্রথম প্রোপোজালের সময়ে যেরকম টানটা অনুভব করেছিল সেটা আর স্মিতা অনুভব করেনা। কেন, সেটা স্মিতা নিজেও নিজেকে বহুবার জিজ্ঞেস করেছে। কোনোবারই একটি যথাযথ সদুত্তর খুঁযে পায়নি। সে জানে, সে খামখেয়ালি। এই কথাটা নীল তাকে বরাবরই বলে। হঠাৎই ঠিক এরকমই অনুভুতি হয়েছিল তার এক্স-বয়ফ্রেন্ড অমিতের সাথে, যার জেরে স্মিতা সম্পর্কটা ছেড়ে বেড়িয়ে আসে। যদিও সে কখনোই চায়নি যে সম্পর্কটা ছেড়ে যাওয়ার পরেও অমিত তার জীবন থেকে চলে যাক। কারণ হয়ত স্মিতার খামখেয়ালিপনাই। যতটাই সে অমিতের প্রতি অনুভুতি হারাচ্ছিল, ততটাই আবেগের জালে জড়িয়ে পড়ছিল নীলের সাথে। নীল স্মিতার বেস্ট-ফ্রেন্ড। যদিও নীল স্মিতাকে বরাবরই ভালোবাসে তাও মনের মধ্যেই চেপে রাখে তার ভালোবাসাকে। কারণ সে জানে, স্মিতা তো অন্য কারোর  এই অনূভুতি প্রকাশের তার কোনো অধিকার নেই। তবুও ফাঁকফোকর থেকে ভালোবাসার জ্যোতি যে বেড়িয়ে পড়ত না, তা নয়। আর স্মিতাও প্রথম থেকেই জানত, নীল ওকে ভালোবাসে। একদিন নীল আর না পেরে বলেই ফেলল। বলেই ফেলল যে সে স্মিতাকে ভালোবাসে। সে এটাও জানে যে স্মিতা তার নয়। আর এরকম অনূভুতি মনে পুষে রাখা ...

প্রায় বছর দুয়েক পর আমাদের আবার দেখা। আবছা হয়ে এসেছিল নিজেদের মনে একে অপরের মুখের অবয়ব, ভাবভঙ্গি সব। শুধু স্মৃতিচিহ্নগুলো নিয়ে একলা একটা বাঁধানো পুকুরঘাট আমাদের অপেক্ষা করছিল। এতদিনে যখন সেই অপেক্ষা সাঙ্গ হল, সবাই ক্লান্ত। "জানিস, তুই একটা ম্যাজিকের মতো। আমি জীবনে একটা লোকের সাথেও, বিশ্বাস কর, এমনকী নিজের মা বাবার সাথেও দুটো কথা বলার পর তৃতীয় কি কথা বলব বুঝে পাইনা। আমি তো জানিসই, কেরকম ইন্ট্রোভার্ট। কিন্তু শুধু তোর সামনেই আমার কথার ঝুড়ি শেষ হয়না। বুঝে পাইনা কোনটা ছেড়ে কোনটা বলব। বাড়ি এসে মনে পড়ে যে এ বাবা, ওইটা তো বলাই হলনা। তোর সাথেই একমাত্র আমার কথা বলতে গেলে ভাবতে হয়না। আচ্ছা, তোর কাছে ঐ চিঠিটা আছে?" "আছে। কিন্তু কোথায় আমি জানিনা।" "সেকী! কেউ খুঁজে পেয়ে গেলে?" "পেলে পাবে। এখন আর যায় আসেনা।" "আচ্ছা ধর, ঠিক তোর বিয়ের দিনই তোর বাবা খুঁজে পেল চিঠিটাকে। তারপর বলল, "বল আমায় কে তোকে এই চিঠিটা লিখেছে! কে সে যে তোকে নিয়ে এত ভাবে এত গভীর থেকে চিন্তা-ভাবনা করে?! কে সে! আমি তার সঙ্গেই তোর বিয়ে দেব!" তারপর তুই বললি "ঐ ছেলেটা বাবা, যে মনে...

Today I deactivated my Facebook account. I also uninstalled Instagram. I have decided that, I will not anymore showcase my life, my opinions and my choices in social media. If someone has to know them, they will have to know me offline.  Today I also walked down unknown lanes without any reasons, alone. I saw a jar full of wafers in a shop. I didn't taste them in years. I bought one of them. It was good, though many people don't like it. I got back to my apartment with a Rs. 10 Mango Frooti. I drank that while watching the sunset from the terrace of my apartment, alone. I finally have time to listen to the sounds around me which I've been ignorant to from a long time. The sound of birds...bells from temple etc. Suddenly I'm realizing they are actually good.

I unblocked her on Facebook after 1.5 years. In this 1.5 years we haven't talked to each other, haven't seen or heard. Memorized, maybe. Even her memories started to fade away slowly. After 1.5 years everything feels like a dream. She was a chapter of my life. An important one. She was my bestfriend, my love. She was my, home.  She dropped me a comment in my blog. I didn't know she was following  it. I never check my blog and it's activities because I have a YouTube channel which keeps me quite busy. I write in my blog for no reason or maybe just to keep a record of my life. I never expect anybody to follow it. I really felt astonished when I saw I received a comment, that too from her, 5 days ago. We talked a little. When I saw your comment saying 'I miss you more' I was freezed. I felt blank. I didn't know what to react.  You know there is a space probe known as Voyger. It is the farthest sent man made object and the only space probe to travel intersteller...

It was the puja time and by the puja's festive decoration her locality is the best. Me and one of my friend went out for local pandle hopping and she was staying in her home. She would never come out for pandle hopping no matter how much you try. She says she doesn't like so much crowd and noise. So don't I. But this friend of mine pushed me so hard that I had to go out. Anyways, we were on her locality. There were balloons, lights, lots of fast foods and music. I knew she is staying in her home away from all this. It isn't fair if she doesn't get a little glance of what is going outside her home. I bought a heart shapped balloon and texted her to call her out. She denied, as expected. The balloon was huge, enough to block the whole walking  passage of her apartment. I looked around and left the balloon right there and ran away. Then I texted her, "I have left a massive gift for you on the front of your apartment. Go and get it soon because if you don't it ...

One night I was getting ready for bed and she called. It was past eleven and calling at this time wasn't normal. Yes sometimes we used to talk over phone till 3 AM but it wasn't something like that. I picked up the phone and heard that she was desperatly crying. I asked her many times that what had happened but she was so emotional that she couldn't utter a word but was only crying. My dad was closing the main gate and getting out from home at this time of night without any proper reason would be a disaster I knew. But I had made my mind. I took the cycle and went out. My parents were shocked as usual but all I knew that moment that I have to go. I did answer nothing and ran my cycle blazing fast through the cold of the midnight. I reached her home and called her but it was switched off. I called her sister. She couldn't explain anything properly but I sensed that the issue is between she and her sister. W After a few more minutes I got back and as expected, I had to to...

1.5 years ago... It was a cloudy afternoon. She was coming from Sealdah on train and she was with her family. They had to get off in Dumdum Cantonment. The train halted. Her family along with the crowd started rushing towards the door. She didn't move a step. Everybody was in great hurry and nobody noticed her staying in the compartment until her sister looked back and screamed "What are you doing didi hurry up..." The train started moving slowly. Everybody was confused on her such sudden and unexpected behaviour. She screamed against the sound of the moving wheals "I have something important in the next station... you go on without me I'll come back later." She wasn't determined at all about this decision. She was also, hesitated. But somehow an inner force held her on that place and couldn't let her move. She was able to gather enough confidence to take that decision because if she hadn't, we wouldn't have met again for a long time. I was t...