My Bestfriend - 4
I unblocked her on Facebook after 1.5 years.
In this 1.5 years we haven't talked to each other, haven't seen or heard. Memorized, maybe. Even her memories started to fade away slowly. After 1.5 years everything feels like a dream. She was a chapter of my life. An important one. She was my bestfriend, my love. She was my, home.
She dropped me a comment in my blog. I didn't know she was following it. I never check my blog and it's activities because I have a YouTube channel which keeps me quite busy. I write in my blog for no reason or maybe just to keep a record of my life. I never expect anybody to follow it. I really felt astonished when I saw I received a comment, that too from her, 5 days ago.
We talked a little. When I saw your comment saying 'I miss you more' I was freezed. I felt blank. I didn't know what to react.
You know there is a space probe known as Voyger. It is the farthest sent man made object and the only space probe to travel intersteller space (outside solar system). It is currently 22 billion kilometers away from Earth and going away from us in a speed of thousands of kilometers (per second). Still we are getting signals. An extremely weak signal in a range of 1/100000 but yes, we are still in contact. It hasn't forgotten us. In a few more years we will lose that ability too and Voyager will become a memory of us carrying the existance of humans in this huge universe, travelling alone towards infinity.
I was like that Voyager seperated from her long ago knowing that she was my past. I've been running away from her in a furious speed throughout this 1.5 years and she went far far away from me. But still, yesterday I received a signal from her. Do you know how it feels to get a weak signal from a known person you left behind long ago? Once we had a life together, we used to be best friends, we used to spend lots of time. All those chaos, laugh, naughtiness and everything are lost somewhere in the darkness. After all these years I really started to doubt if those were my dreams or reality.
I unblocked her from Facebook. I found a live stream as I was scrolling through her timeline.
I know that voice... I know those expressions... those tiny vibrations in her vocal, details everything. In no time her fragrance wrapped me around. Her voice was like coming from far away. It was like when you're back home after years. You recognise that smell of your room, that roughness of the floor and everything. Her voice were comforting my ears. I could feel tears, not in my eyes but in my throat. I was completely soabed into tears from inside.
I still remember, last time I called her she said that she was happy without me in her life and I cried like a baby in front of my friends.
If you throw away your pet cat out in fish market will he die? Probably he will cry for a few weeks wondering why did my master leave me, where is he where is my home etc. But after some period, he will have to accept that he will not be back and he has to move on in his life. That home, love, warmth everything will maybe, turn into nothing but an, old dream.
I missed you a lot. I missed you, cried, fell asleep, woke up, again cried, fell asleep... and it went like this for months. My CGPA decrased 0.5 points straight. But I didn't care. I fell asleep, cried...I just started to sense her breath on my nose as I gazed into her live stream, I forced myself to press the back button to pull myself out of that powerful hypnotism.
I have a different life now. I want to talk to you again but... I have different people now... moreover, I cannot get into those emotional attachments again. It did cost me enough to love you. There's no way I can go back to you. Maybe if there is some God, he wants us to come together that is why he arranges such situations again and again. But the rest of the universe probably doesn't.
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