Pronil Halder - Writer Author Filmmaker

Wish I could hug you someday Like trees hold wall with twigs. Wish I could test your roots' strength. Wish I could take you with me. I know, I have made some injuries, But have seen how you've healed them. Wish had not seen all good's end, And your greenery remained sweet. Wish I could care you someday Like gardener waters gently. Like little flowers of May, Wish I could wish you to be. But how would you? I know dear I've hurt you like woodcutter does. Wish I could have you today As leaves have sunshine to live!

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It was much harder than anyone can imagine of that how did I get over from all your thoughts. Since you've broken up my world, it seems like life's noting but a closed room, where all the lights are off. It's hardest to believe the whole world of mine Having loneliness as friend where no one's to talk. Those choking days may have gone so far But it's still a pain being a key with no lock. I see myself and find that I'm not that romantic Nowadays. Rays of Sun don't make me frantic Anymore. Sky doesn't seem sweet. And it Is the only thing makes me feel I'm growing a bad kid. I know you have gone and won't come back again, But all my feelings of love, have they gone too? Where are they? But sometimes I think if they've gone with you... It's okay. At least I've been able to give you something.

I have just one question and I know it's a nobel one. Why did you leave me alone between this incomplete run? Why did you throw me and show me the end? You know it hurt a lot. In the end of this story of love, that is all I've got. It means no one will be saying, "Oh dear, you're so late." No one will ever be there to show me all my mistakes. No one will be to show her glory in the rain which represents the removal of all the agonies stress and the tense. You know you'll just be an old stripe on heart which is gradually dying tonight. Why the tears are betraying me seeing you go away like a broken kite. From the brightest days of childhood to the last moment just arrived, I've seen rhythms are loosing threads. Today, you didn't leave any song to write.

Dumbru, dum dum... Dumbru, dum dum... Why it plays at the night in me? Is it my heartbeat or confusion? Why does it guide my mind into deep? Why the room seems quite a bigger? Why it feels like I've nothing to figure out? Out there, I see nobody. Why does it feel like I'm lone in city? Sometime, it's peaceful. Sometime, it's awkward. Sometime it feels like I've no alternatives. Is this the only sound left in the kingdom? Why it plays at the night in me?

The science is busy 'cause the night is strong. The line's been drew, the Sun's confused! Betrayal is easy. What's rare are songs! Who's gonna teach here right and wrong? Truth, sympathy? Where are you from? Put'em back there where they do belong. The night is long. I might have used a slight of protest. But I see nukes, they're invisible, always ready and strong. Who's gonna tell me where have I born?!

It was just yesterday when you said that you love me, you want me. That's the way I was insane only. Today when I'm sinking down to my own eye droplets, say do I really owe you anything? So why's this agony? Five years, yes you heard me my dear, I must say, what was it, love? Relation? Or martyr? Hey do you know when I see you light years away today with some else, it still hurts me and ruins the day. But I know you don't care girl, if you did say could you break the bond of the childhood? Say how would you feel the rain, when someone's dying for your cute eyes, say doesn't your heart says you shouldn't hurt him, should you? How'd you feel the ground beneath you when you've taken someone else's? You've made him bare, can't even compete in life's races, like aces, you've used him. On mazes you've put him. Say is this the way a girl lives? When her boy weeps, she faces her happiness? But remember still the clock...

How could you feel the night, You will have to fight... How could you feel the night, there's faith behind!

I know you never have thought why and where we are. Out of this world, lies a whole universe! I don't know how, but I had a vision yesterday That I'm running with light, light-years away... Like a soap bubble, I'm rapidly expanding. Between somewhere in Milky Way I'm standing. But my thoughts are even felling me behind, They talk to stars and wait till the answering. Where are the photons? They're uncertain. Its there! But then you'll see you've mistaken. They flow like the fishes swim on the sea... Their destination tends towards infinity! Suddenly it feels like a blast And I see a dying star's falling apart. From its ashes, like a phoenix child A baby supernova shines so bright!

Sanhai of the marriage hall And the Rajanigandha's odour Is not bothering me anymore. With some heartbeats it relates all my feelings For that unknown, long haired girl on balcony, She pushes my into another life, I see myself at its open door. Before my senses, I wanna be for her But suddenly this whole world seems so dark, When I realize its a past vision But I can still feel that love's emission.

I know its gonna take a little bit time. A bit of mistakes its gonna make. A bit of distance there are left. After some moments, its gonna wake. The way is just a bit hard, Hardly I can think about it all day. I know now its getting a bit like rhyme But its gonna help me all the way! I know its gonna want some little favors Before telling me the truths and lies. And just then, like a wafer Its gonna break down and cry. Its gonna take a bit of moment To let me be understood. Then I will surely forgive it... I know that's all I could. I know there's a little bit heart Between of me and it. I can never betray it and, There’s nothing it has ever hid. Just at the lid of life When I'll be saying goodbye, I know there's gonna be a bit of tear I'll have to sacrifice.

I like your colors on the skies, oh man! I like your ways be enlighten. I like your dreams to be wide, they can show me always a reliable man. I like your thoughts going into deep. I like you, you've never found how to weep. I like your notes sail like a ship. Your windows of life should be exhibit. I see you whenever I turn around. I wish you whenever I kiss the ground. Doesn't matter how deep then sleeps the town, for you, awaken always is my bounce.

I know that it will end, sooner or later. I know that some will faint, though some will say its better. But what my life paints worst or greater, will never judge who's traitor and my own. It'll also adore, them who had ignored! And it never sees, what exact black is... All they need a shoe polish!

A heart-opening poem I read on the dark, shy and cloudy sky... An encouragable story I get from the free and enchanting luminous fly. An unsolvable sketch I made on my book of symphonies, but none everyone can read, you know... sometimes sympathies are also injuries. I talk to leaves in symbolic to know how the pain can be optimized. They say, "Ya ain't need to get to deep, just freely swim on the surface line." But how can I be blind to the depth you gave... I run towards the lonely pond, and finally, when I see its peaceful smile, the simplicity of the life reborn! (I was hesitating thinking if the readers find this poem confusing to understand. Actually, its a very simple poem about the relation between love, nature and a teenage boy. When a boy grows and steps into teenage, he tries to understand his mysterious yet fascinating surrounding. He tries to involve in its depth, and thus complex feelings gains in his heart. This is how the feeling of love introduces ...

You can ignore me, because I am the only man who you're gon to see still living lonely. Yes, you can ignore me. Because I am indeed your made for fun thingy... Who else say gon to be without me? So you left me on this night, with this thick solution of past. Dunno where are you, might you're now with your choice at last. And thus, now this trail ends. And once, you know, we were friends... Maybe more than it.

Neither you do understand, never that you will. I'm a oldest broken gramophone, you're a saxophonic feel. Tried to bring you flowers, roses. But what you did a drill on my heart, do you know how does it feel? Yesterday I touched your hair, touched your hair tested you, kissed you. I loved you fair, loved you fair... cried too when I missed you. I did all share, took your care... Took your care. Is its a tragic too, that I wished you!

There's no way of new flavors in my life with my favor. I'm just a simple labor of your favorites, dear! Have never tried to push myself to anyone else you. My self- adjustments always stopped me. Myself I did all this dear. But sometimes when I see her, try to find her from deeper... Maybe there's a hidden fever, much cheaper than I thought. Why's this? Am I not complete? On my way, am I not accomplished? What else do you want from me? Is this say all I got? All those tricks of this sickness have made me sick, and making sicker. But still seeking for that breeding love, just say how can I free her!

I know you got to see how much is my injury. I know its going to be so far too hurtfully... But maybe, you should know this all these days how much have I missed, all those ways that I risked. Have known, were mistakes. Did what had you wished. And look now I'm just a new man, and I bet this only few can.

Today I saw you with him again. Wasn't looking so cute as you are. Oh man I just wish if someone had cared 'bout my lone wet heart in rain. Maybe you're right that you have rights, 'cause you're a sweet girl, and you might have some fun with'em, but now who'll dare to turn this burnt heart again to white. I know you think that I'm just a dumb boy who's trying to reach your first column. Yesterday when I touched your hair, who knew tomorrow I'll have goose bumps! Thus I look up in those stars. Try to keep city lights so far. Maybe you've never loved me, but there I know somebody's loves me and honors. I know somebody's loves me and honors. I know she loves me and too, honors.

Frogs are calling out in yards... I can hear their open verse... They say that it can call the rain, so that it cleans up all the strains! But I know its just call for a well connection between a male and a female! Look, I'm also calling you, here on bed we can here'em together, till your lips are red!

I can see you're up there, laughing and saying hi! Maybe you're thinking how tall I have grown this time! Fairy land was very loved by whom now you see, beneath of you, today he's finding destiny! I can see you have not been even little sad, that now I've known behind that big round, who is that! That now I've been taught I can never meet you... Look, how this precious growing up has made me so bad. It never says to jump so high and touch you , and it never tells to talk to your colorful bands. It never teaches, like peaches, he's also sweet, who is sitting over you, the cutest rabbit! It never helps to make the most unique habit to catch your silver scales, and courageously have it. It never omits till you vomit down the books, and always gets on it, our most valuable looks. But I don't care about what does it share with me, because I know you're always here to see! And whenever I'll look at you, you will always bring that priceless peace. I know I...

You'll go away to have some fun. You'll fun with friends, will take a run! Will run to cab or bus or train, the train will take you to entertain! Then you will try finding a CC, Square... Will ask somebody, if it is there. Unknowing clearely it is where, you'll give your way a hug of share! After finding the CC 2, your friends will get little busy too! You'll sit somewhere, will mobo-tool you'll to-and-fro in it, like a fool! Your guys, holding a shopping cart will come down to the payment mart. Having all over your brand new shirt, you'll have to come down to earth! A boy will promise strongly to his mom, "I'll come back soon with some rupees on. He'll stag out of his tiny shack, leaving his dying-ill old mother back. He'll stare to some cool Mercedes ... No! Not on shops, they're on the streets! He'll knock its window, will pray to them. His poor story, he'll say to them. The Richie rich, with a hurtfully hate will close the windo...

I've become so much harder on these days maybe, lost hasn't taken everything. Sometimes a cold air, on my face touches and tells how much I've grown lean! Though I have lost you, I know I've lost the world but still I'm alive, say am not I? Maybe I'm better lone, can take care of my own... I know I can depend on my eyes! From tomorrow you'll be on your way and I'll be over mine, but I'm not accustomed to leave you lonely on this path of vine, so maybe my concentration will slightly be on your way... And if you call me for love in future, you'll see me there again!

Tear. Sadness. Fear. Madness. Weird When you go near to that space. Success I don't know where is that. But our own flow is taking us somewhere. Pains are stations they won't stop coming. All we oughta stop for a sec, its genuine! Sweetie, dear all we can. Take a lil' glance, see here's my hand. Grab it tightly, we'll stay together. we're like on one stick two beauty flowers!

I'm on my own. Feeling lonely from my heart only... Forgetting tensions, destination is unknown. I'm on my own. Moving slowly. forgiving all the hallucination... New sensation is the goal!

I wanna play again. Again, I want to go outside, want to spend time in those lanes, want to keep all my thoughts aside, forget my teenage learning, want to get back on my turning, and want to go straight again... On those green and soft grasses, underneath the care of sunshine, throwing away useless ashes, I wanna jump back on time.. Let me have a bath of purity first, then I'll come again on my way of thirst.

I've lost all intention to speak up, I've lost all intention to shout, because you don't know what's success, you haven't heard of innovation. No, you won't help for invention, to you, these are such mess... You can't differentiate between rice and radio, you've made notes and happiness too same... You make quest and thirst's ratio with meaningless, ever silent gems. The door's are closed for decades, to sad and badly it shall survive, because I've seen tomorrow's reality's storm is raising up in huge... So nice!

All the signals are on green, but still why I'm standing? But still here I'm waiting, 'cause i know you'll come. I know you will, that's why I'm letting it kept all on firm! Confirming your terms and state, keeping some over time, and fate... Over the river of open waves, I know, your love will come. Much lives to be waited to get your softness in my arms...

I wish to set in one fine night to find the white island, along in the huge ocean... I wish one day I can! I'll sail on the shiny road laid by the blue full moon. I'll suffer all the rains, wind, storms, the heat of afternoon. I'll take all the innocent people who just know to get betrayed. I know the truth heart of them has been spat all by hate.. I'll take their hands, and tell to them, "Fellow, I'm begging for your faith, that's the fuel of our holy voyage towards what we're gonna make!" And one day, following by new Sun of joy and the white sea bird's scream we'll see 'The Island of The Trust Givers', the one land of the dream!

Its like a dream... And I'm all in. Like ice cream .....melting... Its like a ship... Sailing deep. All I can see's The sea! Blown sky's Falling apart Alone. Eyes Are lonely bird Only I Can feel the heal When agony hide Behind the hills Of loving, faithful scene! And I can see myself in...

Go have some fun, life, wishing, winning, you don't need to fear. All those screeching, screaming nights, I promise, won't be here. Weeping, moaning, cheating, owning, enough I have beard, You just don't need to have these all, go ahead, oh my dear! Lights are waiting at your path, they're happy! They're near... You just don't have to look behind, there only flood of tear. Go on, walk on till the end! Till success appear. I can live alone with those moment, lonely we've spared...

It feels so like my hometown, Finally greenery here I've found! Beauty, scenery and the open sky Has given back my bounce! Dry leaves are on open air, Spirit has dressed, and paired Ducks are dancing, With their silent sound! Mangoes and coconut trees, Have spread themselves! Have raised themselves Like the highest mount! A small, round pond between The grassy plain land... It will Stay calm till I stare, Till I'm in its bound! No chocking here will bother me, No skyscrapers' to order me. The life and colors are fair, Beneath this softest cloud...

Still I'm after the same thing, the definition of my life. Will this be enlighten once for my step and all my strides? As I go near, being pushed is fear... Being rushed in. Ways aren't so clear... Its getting weird, and fastening! Tears are on my foot. Can't even hear, my dear one! Though I am here, above the roof on Sun, to bear The heat you can through, the bit you've lit, the glitter. I'm here to defeat her! I'm here to owe. You might know...

Today I'm proposing! And I'm opposing All the truths! Opening, All my goods, I'm not affine! And like Beethoven, I'm sewing, My music so tight! And I promise, That the day won't be night! I know all my promises. Those can be hurricane, But still I'm keepin'em. Can't betray all'em. I would be rather in Your love, Gathering rhymes... Let not the day wear the night!

One day, you'll wake up like every morning. Will come to find me, to wish me 'Hi'... You'll wait for my answer, till clock ticks, but won't get my old lovely sight. Nostalgised, you'll look out of window, with your lost eyes, you'll stare at sky, will check your inbox a thousand times, but won't get my old lovely sight. Then you'll get angry, break into fire, fall out with "Hate you", "Don't need you"'s storm, will say, "This is my last text" probably But your sweet lover won't even inform... From the day I had seen you, loved from heart, but friendship is what always you have meant... I never wanted disgrace your simple art, so going away forever with flashes, we had spent. Day by day, I know you'll find me, then my memories will fade out, will go so dim... After 20 years, when you'll wake up again, you'll think, 'Pronil was just like a dream'...

Noon's so shiny, bright and fine! Smiling leaves now, rising vines. The Sun's says, he could give us more as he can't still see the horizon line! Maths book, notes, pen are damnly tired, since hours they're working, now they rests! The boy, who has preciously been admired by a charming girl, is now vision's guest! How sweet and cute woman she was with whom he walked on cloud, few moment ago! She lives across the street. Maybe now resting, keeping her soft bed upon! Oh! If a little world I would get completely calm and quite, only for us... I would probably spend building a healing life for only you and me, before I pass! Maybe I would make a tiny log house over the cold beach, in front of sea! I would cover whole ground with warmth of yours, I would see it as my holy destiny! I would touch the smoothest hair of yours to feel, how pure the love is I get while flying over it's fragrance! Surely it shouldn't be reality, maybe it...

Though its night, clock says tick, tick, tick... you gotta wake up, you gotta lick the silence care, the block and maze! When world dreams up, you oughta trick the tricky way! I know it seems little creepy, they won't understand your night duty, its height, beauty! When light goes down, then the brightest way you have to pick! Now I have to go... No time's been left, as I need to show my glittering wave to light it up! On this dark deep, You can keep sleeping! Oh damn it! Clock is still saying me, tick...tick...tick!

I am one of those flowers, which once you had sowed... Lying on your Sun, underneath of your shower, On your lovely oscillation, being overwhelmed by your Victorious visions; Couldn't even feel the hours! Everyday, so I wonder, when exactly have I grown! Yellowish inspirable petals of mine, Optimizing themselves to wet-pink, tonight... Ubiquitous as you've become, too! I Love You!

I wake up every morning, and open my gentle eyes... And all my mental learning, only comes from your eye sites! Then I don't even look, what the time exactly is showing the clock. I took my feelings all over these, that now you should be cared! My heartbeats appreciate them too, As they know that you're the heir of all my written tools and the songs, which I've patterned! The soul does never die on the lies, which life hadn't earned, and life has turned now! Surprise is how the dice of time changes, how ridiculous thing does eyes show us at our edges, and how painfully they cry! That's why I've always put you, on my every day's blood and sweat, and all you've given me, ignorance, but I've also neglected'em! As a poet, I've always chosen better for you. Have always followed your line. Today perhaps my love doesn't matter to you! But at least, you have your smile...

Its almost the last night, when all worst things will just be gone! But I'm still on the dark's site, where my heart still says 'Carry On!' And here in this heavy air, which contains only hope... between the silence's care, and light essence of dope, on this little hill station, I'm still waiting for you, that when your train will come! And you'll give me hug, won't you? Its when my heart becomes so sad, when I remember, that you're dead in accident. No more you're my family member... But tracks are still tied on, on coldness, outta danger, to carry your gentle train, on this dead night fog's chamber! And its won't be a lonely night! Its not what I should own... On this dark, station site, heart says, 'Just Carry On!'

This is a story based poem so normally it's too long. You can also buy the ebook ' I Haven't Forgotten You ' directly from web if you want to read these later. I've used some Bengali words it, such as these-' Didi ' means ' Elder sister '. ' Sona ' means ' A  Lovely One ' This poem is over how the love started with my special one. ____________________________ I just don't know why and when, I'll come up with all these dreams. Still it feels like I haven't seen them, And it has been changing! Inside of my heart, when I feel them, See its thrashing and raging. But I'm cageing'em, so no one can steal them, Gotta seal them, and gotta trim! There's a pile of these I've left before, Some miles of years ago. But I dare not go to there 'cause, There grieves are weeping. Though It was Sun or rain, tornado Or deadly, heavy snow, I had so...